Sometimes I start to seriously doubt my existence in the spiritual world. Sometimes I think that I am not doing God justice by living my life for Him. However, sometimes just when I forget that I play such a valuable part in God's meticulous plan, He'll show me why He needs me. He has entrusted so much faith, strength, and courage within me. At times when I think about where I was in my life and where I am now it's almost as if there's a transformation of souls.
It used to be my entire life, everything was me, but the more I've let God work in my heart the more I am like Him and suddenly this life doesn't continue as mine anymore. Rather I am the body that serves His purpose. I am His arms and His legs here on this Earth and when I think about it that way it makes it that much easier for me to remember that I have a job to do for Him.
Love.
Love is such a powerful thing. Love isn't just something you share with a partner, a spouse, a friend. Love isn't your favorite movie or spaghetti sauce. Love is what happens when you are afraid but you take a chance any way. Love is forgiving. Love is kind and patient. Love is allowing an enemy to become your best friend. Love is helping the guy who knew he was wrong. Love is never abandoning a true friend but always praying for them even when you don't get the same in return. Love is something that helps us survive and without it we are nothing.
Sometimes I wonder why I gave my husband chance after chance to break my heart all over again. I'm sure he could say the same thing. I wonder what's wrong with me when I allow lies to happen but I forgive them anyway. I wonder what in the world was I thinking by trying to be friends with someone I can't stand, or don't get along with, let alone doesn't care about me the same way. I wonder about the times when I choose to put my feelings aside for the sake of explaining something to someone else, or being there for a person who needs me to be.
Today I started to forget and I started to wonder. But then something amazing happened, something so little that to the human eye could be mistaken, forgotten, or even unappreciated.
I have a friend, one whom I've only met through one of those many lies told. She is one I never thought I'd ever understand, let alone be friends with. There are things about her that I do not agree with, things she does that I do not condone but empathize with her options. At times I envy her beauty but I also see her flaws. She asked me today about God. She asked me; a person she doesn't know much.
She asked me a couple of questions she had about the Bible and evolution because of something that happened to her today. She began to tell me that a friend of hers told her she was destined to hell for believing in evolution and other things. She proceeded to tell me that this friend considered themselves as one who believed and followed Christ. As she told me I started to empathize with my friends' life and how this might've affected her. I couldn't imagine anyone telling me I would be going to hell, let alone someone I considered a "friend".
I have to ask myself now, after having this conversation with her 'do I still believe that I have no purpose in God's plan?' After this I would say 'No!' I do believe and God has reminded me that this is why I do what I do, I love the way I love.
Pay no attention to me or what I have done in this, but pay attention to what He has done through me. He has worked so hard in my heart to have accepted her when others wouldn't, to have forgiven her when others wouldn't, and to most of all loved her when others choose not to.
That is not the way to win anyone's heart for Christ; by telling them they are going to hell. The way you 'win' is with love, true love. Love for Christ through yourself.
I leave with this final reminder that anything can happen "through Christ who strengthens me" -Phil 4:13
