Remind me not to talk to his mom about hardly anything without first stating a disclaimer and making her sign it. Haha. No, in all seriousness, sometimes you think it should be easy to trust someone with something as small as a thought or an idea, but then there are a few people who take that idea and blow it out of the water, making you regret ever having it in the first place.
That's kind've like his mom at times. I love her to death but she's overbaring and pushy when all she needs to be is supportive and trusting. For instance...this morning I was saying how excited I was because Steve might do the physical trainer courses to get his license and start doing that. I think he'd be super great at it because he's very well educated, athletic, and has a unique ability to set his mind to doing something and following through with it. Right now it's just in the seed stage, but I'm worried she's going to blow it up, once again, making it so that he doesn't even want to mention another thing to anyone, especially me because I'm the one who talked about it.
While I know that I'm allowed to be excited and she's allowed to try and help, there just has to be some sort of common ground, which being that we're Christians you would think would be easy to do, however, it has been something I have fought for almost four years now; trust in God's time, God's way, God's will, that is.
You see, it's easy for all of them to assume that I don't know a single thing about God or His lessons considering I haven't grown up in the church. And it's easy for me to assume that they don't know that passion of God's lessons because they've been told to believe it all their lives. However, judgements aside, this entire family could stand to learn from God's lessons now and learn how to trust Him a little bit more than they do.
You see, when you get impatient and roll over someone's feelings because you want something to happen your way...you're not trusting God's time, His way. When you get upset because someone won't make a decision fast enough for you, but they are truly trying to figure it out...you're not trusting. And when you do everything for someone to get the outcome that you want....you're not trusting Him.
The latter has been a very difficult lesson for his whole family, including him to learn. It's almost as if they trust God with certain fates of their lives, like health, or wealth, but not with the everyday, day-to-day stuff that we are supposed to. Alot of times they will say what is necessary to get the reaction or outcome they desire, instead of rightful admitting the truth either good or bad and letting God give them what they need to handle the consequences.
Take it from me, God will humble you if you think you can outsmart Him. And He will make it His way, not yours, so all that stressing and over complicating situations just to control the situation is just extra work and strain you're putting on yourself.
This morning his mom proceeded to tell me that he is "alot like" his step-dad in that you have to do it for him, take his worries away so that he'll finally decide to do it. However, while I've done this on certain occasions to try and help Steve not be so afraid of certain things, that sort of attitude does nothing for their faith. It teaches them that they no longer have to actually do the work, because #1 someone will do it for them and #2 that God is not in control, you are.
I'm not overly stressed or worried about it because ultimately if he's meant to go down that path than God will allow it to happen on His time, not ours, and not under the control of someone elses' doing. So this morning I would like to pray, more than anything else.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I ask forgiveness of my sins. So much in the past I was impatient and worriesome and felt like I had must be in control. My wrongful thinking caused me to not put my faith in you, to not trust in you. I am sorry. I know Father that you have forgiven me so many times before and I am so thankful for the opportunity to ask for your mercy once again. I am sorry Father, and I do ask forgiveness for all of the times I chose to be in control instead of allowing You control over me. You have done such work in me and for which I am truly grateful! I wanted to ask that you continue to mold and make me to better serve you. Father I also wanted to ask for your help and patience with a situation that is not my own. Father, please work in Steve's heart and allow him to seek your comfort, your strength, and to ask for your courage when he needs it. Father, I want to ask that my husband find his confidence and self-worth in you and not in material items or people, even as close as they may be. I know that he wants to make you proud Father so today I ask that he see himself and others through your eyes and not his own, to find his hope and trust in You easily today. Father, I also ask that you be with Christine. Help her to find herself leaning on your words, your time, and your wonderful ways instead of her own. Help me father to not judge her by her old self, but see her as her new self through you. Help me find forgiveness for her old ways. Father I ask that you work in her heart to mend her aged wounds, so that she too can be truly molded and made to fit Your will. Father, take our worries and fear away, help us fly on wings like eagles today. In all Your glory and heavenly name I pray, amen. I love you!"
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