A couple of posts ago I talked about a workbook that I had begun working through during my time spent in Shelocta, PA. In that recent post I aslo talked about using my blog as my accountability partner and small support group. Starting with this blog I'll summarize Week One through Week Four before I begin work on each Step.
In the last blog that I wrote I talked about the preparation and readiness that we must have in order to be useful to God's will. Such is this journey we're beginning as well. If you think about a company that usually hires from outside their regular employees most will agree that the sole purpose is to train a fresh mind.
Some of the benefits of working a workbook like this, twelves steps, helps to reclaim our birthright as children of a compassionate God. We were created in His image and have the gift of free will. The journey we are about to begin is intended to awaken us to God's grace and give us opportunity to experience peaceful and productive living. Feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, and inferiority diminsh and are replaced by spiritual strength and virtues. Focusing on our new relationship with God transforms our obsessive need for other people's approval. Our attention is, instead, captivated by the promise of new life in Christ. Ask yourself, What personal need brings you to this meeting or step study? Describe your practice of prayer, Bible reading, or quiet time.
The twelves steps takes us from a life of confusion and grief to a place of peace and serenity-one day at a time. Many changes will happen, however, they will not happen all at once. This process will take time, devotion, and patience. God, in His time, instills in us the strength of character that only comes from a healthy relationship with Him. Describe your present spiritual condition.
Because of the chaotic conditions of our childhood, we developed behaviors that now sabotage and assault the successful management of our lives as adults. Having grown up in emotionally repressive families, we became accustomed to denying our pain and discomfort. Most of us found it necessary to shut down our feelings and keep everything locked inside. We learned that expressing our own wants and needs caused rejection. This rejection stimulated intense feelings of inadequacy. Recall one painful incident from childhood.
In our present environments, we may have trouble freely expressing pain, fear, anger, or need. We repress our true feelings because we continue to view our environment the same as we did in childhood. When we openly express our needs, we risk rejection. In order to avoid rejection, many of us compensate for our repressed feelings by doing things to extreme. Our behavior may include preoccupation with relationships, our church, and our job. Or we may cover our true feelings through overwork, overeating, or abuse of mood-altering substances such as drugs and alcohol. What behaviors do you use to compensate for or cover your uncomfortable feeling? How do these behaviors affect the rest of your life?
The healing process begins when we look honestly at ourselves. We see the chaotic conditions of our lives as a result of not being prepared for adult relationships and responsibilities. God has given us free will. We can choose several ways of relating to the people and events in our lives. It is important to set aside some of our negative childhood messages and begin the work of learning new behaviors that will better serve us. Some of us were taught to believe that, if we are Christians, our lives will "automatically" be in order, and we will experience peace and serenity. Yet many Christians know their lives are in turmoil despite their intense devotion to religion. Time, patience, and commitment to God's principles and ways are required to change. And our Christian experience doesn't magically erase the pain or consequences of the past. Instead, our faith empowers us to live life according to God's will.
For Christians who suffer from and addictive disease, or who are the product of a family with addictive traits, the Church's message can sometimes be perceived as shaming. This can keep a person from seeking recovery. There is rarely confusion, however, when the Church's message is honesty. The Bible modeled this honesty by documenting the strengths and weaknesses of God's people. Unfortunately, for some, to admit to imperfection might mean that we are not good Christians. In reality, to admit to imperfection means we need God, and that's OK. True recovery begins as we work the spiritual principles embodied in the twelve steps. It is most easily accomplished when we acknowledge our need for help, comfort, and courage to face our problems.
Explain how your religious experience reinforced your tendency to deny your need for healing.
Standing before the Lord and seeking his healing grace does not automatically relieve us of the conseqences of our past behavior. We do find, however, that by asking God for help in facing our old behaviors, we are able to begin the work of change and healing. Diligently seeking God's will for us and working the material in this book enables us to reexamine our relationship with God. With the help of God's grace we experience changes in our unwanted behaviors such as people pleasing, repressed anger, obsessive thinking, or inappropriate sexual behavior. Through our relationship with Christ we are able to redefine the limits we set for ourselves, and we discover that "all things are possible" for those who love God.
What unwanted behaviors do you see in your shadow?
With God's power, the twelve step program can be a tool to relieve our suffering, fill our emptiness, and help us extend God's presence in our lives. This releases energy, love, and joy that are new to us. It is a program we follow at our own pace, in our own way. We walk this journey one step at a time, with God's help and with the support of others in the program. All we need is an open mind. Much of the work is done by God's Spirit working through us. If we work the steps faithfully, we notice improvements in ourselves: our awareness, our sensitivity, our ability to love and be free. Our spiritual and emotional growth may surprise us.
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