Hope for the broken hearted

As I promised here I am, writing. When I thought about writing earlier I didn't really think of what to say, so I just decided to think a little bit more about the inspiration to my blog post for today. It wasn't necessarily that I was out of ideas but rather that I had too many. As it often goes I had to organize my mental filing cabinet, deciding where the ideas were going to go before anything could actually make it in the files. Yeah, maybe that metaphor was a little too comlex for this time of night. haha.

Either way, I'm here.

I wanted to write about a simple prayer I'd had for the past few nights actually, which first I must say that I used to think that prayers worked like throwing coins in the wishing well where if you tell someone what you wished for it wouldn't come true. I've since realized that prayer isn't quite the same. Recently, I've started to pray that God mold me and make me into an able body to better serve His will. I've realized that through the past few months I couldn't help others the way that I was supposed to because I was so selfishly caught up in my own injuries to truly help with theirs. I know now that it's necessary for us to go through certain circumstantial situations in order to truly have the tools to not only sympathize but empathize and encourage others.

I also wanted to write about the broken-hearted and how such a little "word" could bring so much meaning and fullness to that of a broken heart. Hope. You see it was through my prayer to God that He was able to show me my hope. My hope in the purpose and plan He had for me, the hope in the beauty of my circumstances, the hope for the future anew.

Yesterday was a relatively great day! I really couldn't complain too much because I'd slept for so long, which made me feel like I'd caught up and was rested well enough to get through the night at work. I'd also taken the opportunity to enjoy lunch with a special friend of mine which was nice just getting to know another person for no other reason than to simply add to the knowledge of human behaviors and pure love and concern for their well being. As I went to work, positively being proactive with my mood by listening to my K-LOVE 88.9 in the car I started to think about the possibilities in my life again. I quickly became inspired to truly get going in my own healing process because time is so impatient.

Not only ten minutes was I at work and a man by the name of Jamie Simms came in to our store very interestingly. I had been at the front of the store greeting new guests in and out and as I was talking with another employee I was interested to see why this particular man had been standing closely as if he needed something. So I asked if there was anything I could help him find and as I walked towards him I felt such an urge to talk with him. He wasn't a particularily "interesting" looking man, but there's was just something about him that I knew I needed to talk to him because he was someone of importance. I departed from the employee and we began to talk about the Halloween decorations a certain pumpkin he'd been searching for since his last visit to our store. I was quick to show him where the item was located and he began to tell me about himself. As he walked through the front door I remember wondering why he was carrying a manilla folder with what looked like clippings from a newspaper but I wasn't about to ask him what it was. As he talked more about himself he then showed me what he'd brought with him. I'd learned that he was a broken heart as well. Perhaps he was brought to me for guidance, or just simply a kind smile, but there was a reason he'd come into our store... far greater than any pumpkin he'd see the week before.

I was in awe at the amount of information that this man shared with me and as he continued to talk I could feel my heart build and understand what he might be feeling. He'd told me of his newest achievement of writing his first, self-published horror novel and while I don't particularily like reading horror novels, especially those with creepy children as the main characters, I felt his pride through his words. He showed me the artwork for his book as well as the photograph he used to fill the back cover of the book. It wasn't in this information that I could relate but it was in that his girlfriend recently left him and he'd been apparently robbed of his first novel, "stolen" by the first publishing house he'd lost $40,000 to. So it was in those words that he was telling me that I could relate my feelings of neglect and hopelessness.

I felt such admiration to even be standing with such an interesting character, to be doing God's will by giving him advice and a testimony of my own recent attacks of faith. I'd told him that at the end of the day he had to know that if his love for his novel is what got him through to never give that up for anyone, but to know that there is hope in loving himself again. He'd been so hurt and I could tell because his constant usage of the word "alone" or "lonely", but I advised him that if he could get to a point where being "alone" was a gift and not a burden because of something he'd done wrong, than he'd find the person he desired because they would seek him.

After a little more conversation I began to see the appreciate on his face for my kind words and my patient responses and the intense concern I shared for this perfect stranger. He'd said, "and then I find and meet cool and sweet people like you and you're all married." At the end of our meeting I concluded my concern and appreciation for him with eye contact and a firm handshake thanking him for taking the time to share his story with me. As he turned around and began to walk out I could feel my heart smiling because it was just what I'd prayed for the night before. God had done it once again. He'd given me even more hope that He had before. He'd helped use my pain and struggle and the lessons I learned to help someone else through theirs. It only made me turn around with a happy, excited, bounce as I took comfort in knowing what I was now capable of.

The moral of the story isn't simply to be proud of yourself and what you do. God dwells in us. He is the one that's making this all possible, but we have to prepare ourselves for His work through us. Sometimes even in those darkest of days if all you can do is move slowly, staggered, and blinded...the purpose is to keep moving because eventually the path becomes narrow, straight, firm with His glory lighting your way.

As I close may I ask that tonight, even if you think you're "good" with God, to ask Him to mold you and make you to better do His will; that you not only see others through His eyes but that He give you the strength and the hope to be both willing and able to better serve Him. An influential woman once told me that sometimes you just have to finish the race. Just keep moving and He'll help you find the right path.